Christmas Morning

- "Can you unhung my stocking, please?"

- What do you suppose in that gift?
"I don't know but I sure hope it's something good!"

- "Well, if Santa isn't real, he must be an angel because he always brings those presents."

Starting Young

"Mom, I know you probably want to know what took me so long?" Pause. "Well I was just doing my exercises, you know workin' out." Excercises as it turns out are four-year-old versions of pushups and situps, but they are called in his mind two kinds of pushups. When demonstrated, the "Regleear Pushup" is in traditional form, but the up and down motion is led with the rear followed by the head. The "Other kind of pushup" looks like a situp, except you push up from behind with your arms. According to brother this works the back muscles and really gives a great pump to your arms. He says dad taught him these excercises and that it's good for your body.

Love ya!

When I left for work I said, "Bye Brother, I love you." My comment was matched with, "I love you too mom and I'll kiss ya when you get home!"

Time travel

Brother built (out of pillows, blankies and end tables) a solution to the age old question of what the future may hold.

"Come in my time machine," he said. "It's really fast. I'll steer."

"Mom, hurry!"

"It's time for you to choose or I will have to go without you."

And so I went, of course, but alas, his time machine went backwards.

As it turns out we saw dinosaurs and even brought some back to the house to play. But as brother pointed out -- just the nice ones, of course.

Catch Phrase

What he Says - What he Means

Simanym - Cinnamon
Ohla Bars - Granola Bars
Krispee - Frisbee
Yesterday - Any Day Other Than Today, past, future, whatever
Explode My Brains Out of my Head - Blow My Mind
Balance beano - balance beam

Too funny

Sissy is too funny, at least she thinks so.
For a least three days now, every time she sneezes, she cracks up.
Tosses her head back, rolls with big 'ol giggles.
It's like she is saying, "My, my I just do the darndest things, did you hear that? it was hil-ar-i-ous! I am too funny. Do go on."

Inevitable

Look what Emma and Claire made me. (shows off adorable 5-year-old drawings)
- Wow, they must like you a lot.
Yep, they do. (with a shoulder shrug and curious head tilt.) The girls love me.
- I can see why.
Yeah, today I got in the superhero suit. They really loved that.
- Well who wouldn't love a superhero?
I know, it's great.

Thankful

After Brother said he was thankful for God, I asked why.

"Because He's nice."

I asked if he was thankful for anything else.

"Um, yes," he said. "You and Dad and sometimes [Sissy]"

In bed time

This morning when he answered the phone, Brother told his great-aunt that, "Mommy is in bedtime, and daddy is in bedtime too, so's nana. It's just me here all by myself."

Worst Nightmare of My Lifetime

"Help, help, help this is the worst nightmare of my life!" -- overheard through uncontrollable giggles as Nana chased Brother round and round the house with tickle attacks.

Kisses for Dad

There's not much that keeps Brother from cartoons, but even still -- most mornings, he stops along side mom and dad's bed, crawls up, and explains, "I just have some kisses for dad first."

With dad off hunting and gathering today I expected it to be straight to cartoons, but this morning he came to the side of the bed and said, "Mom, I'm just gonna give you my kisses for dad since he's not here, okay?"

OK!

101 in Fat

Dimensions don't exactly translate to a four year old.

Proof: something that was 92 feet high, by 104 foot wide, is "one hundred and twenty, thirty fat."
I asked then what's Sissy? "101 fat."
What's mom? "120, sixteen"
What are you? "102"

What's most? "Sissy, no you, no her..."

Carried Away

Today Brother was picking up toys in the basement. He called me in to tell me, "Well, you see I started in my room and just got carried away. I think I did the whole house." And he did. He picked up this and that and everything and made a solid effort to find its home. He even made his bed. That was hilarious.
Best part was he kept saying he was done then finding yet another toy, "Oh no, not another one," he kept saying. But then he'd just pick that up because as he said, he just got carried away.

Yes, we train them well, in that moment at least.

Regret

It's a tough word, one that brother did not grasp the first time he heard it. Until that is it was put into terms he could understand - cookies. After a quick story that ended with someone not getting a cookie and regretting the missed treat, he got it. Or so it seemed, until he next noted he regretted his recent movie selection. Concerned and perplexed Miss J asked why and pointed out the choice, Little Mermaid, was among his favorites. Brother, simply explained, "I know but I was just practicing regret."

Helicopter Terms

Overheard: The helicopter is a whack-off machine that can whack off people.
Mom: What does it mean to whack off people.
Brother: Don't know, ya just whack em.

Toys

A funny reality of kids generally – Last year dad built a very nice sandbox, complete with no less than a four foot pile of sand and a myriad of toys. And yet, despite this lovely play spot designed especially for him, he sits, at the bottom of the gravel driveway, playing in the miniscule amount of sand deposited there by recent rains. I do believe that six inch pile will entertain him far longer than the sandbox and wonder why it is the toys even exist, perhaps to remind kids that the fun they create on their own is far better than any fun they may be given.

Oh and Sissy? She’s inside ignoring her toys and playing with the doorstop …sproooinng, sprooiing, sproooing.

Poker Face

10/08 -- It’s long been said, I have no poker face. As it turns out, that particular fault is genetic.

Just as he drew a card, brother squealed, “I got it! I got it! I got it!” First loud and vigorous, then more as a mantra/sing-song as we each took our turn unable to stop his inevitable win: “I gawd it, I gawd it, I gawd it.” And believe me we were really trying to beat him. He’d already won way to many times in row as it was.

OK, fast forward to the next game, past a gentle reminder of strategy and maybe not wanting to tell others what cards you hold. He again draws a card. I have never, ever, not once seen such a ridiculously huge, proud smile. Accompanying the smile was the visible, physical restraint of a four-year old with such wondrous news it was taking his entire body to hold it in. He was wiggling with excitement, a boiling pot of water about to bust it’s lid. The kid was rattling. Ya, think he got the card? He won. Again. Damn.

So parents/grandma again offer more helpful advise on showing your hand. This time he draws the card and exalts, “That is the card I need and I’m gonna play it next.” Then when the adults have shown their exacerbation at the lost cause, he cries truly perplexed, “What, I didn’t say what card it was?!”

So, the kid’s mine. He just won’t be able to play poker.

Cuddlestorm

10/7/08 -- Tonight when helping make his bed brother wound up quite literally wound up, wrapped from head to toe in pillows and blankets. I looked up to see him buried at the foot of the bed, encompassed in his comforter and assorted bed linens. His comment, "Wow, look at me, I'm stuck in a CUDDLESTORM." As all four year olds tend to be, he was happy to explain to me that a cuddlestorm is when you're all wrapped up and cozy and that "everyone should get in one sometimes."